Unoficial Rules for Mario Kart Wii Online
by Ender The Time Lady
Summary: The title is pretty self explanatory. Reveiws are always appreciated!
1. Chapter 1

Mario Cart Wii Online Unoficial Rules

Do not make your name in 1337 speak. If you do, I will smash your face in.

Don't vote for the course you just played. It's just stupid.

Yes, it is cool to make your Mii really damn ugly. No, it is not cool to name it Your Mom.

If you repeatedly vote for Luigi Circuit even after you just played it, you look like a total beginner who desperately needs the easy track. Vote for it a few times, but for the love of god switch it up a bit!

Do not use up all the voting time and be the last person to vote with random. Just don't.

If you choose a small character, you will be rammed.

4999-0= terrible player. 5000-5999= New player. 6000-6999= Good player. 7000-7999= amazing player. 8000+ = Expert.

If you want to intimidate or look unique, choose a tough character, like Daisy, Bowser Jr., Baby Luigi, Funky Kong, Dry Bowser, or Mii Outfit B. Those are the rarest characters.

There will probably be at least 2 Luigi's.

Rainbow Road is bound to show up. If you fall off, you're screwed.

AN: Well, that just came off the top of my head. I was playing Mario Cart online, and I really was playing against some people like that. One dude called himself G3R3TT, there were 3 Luigi's, and the same four people were only voting for Luigi Circuit. I got annoyed, and typed this up. Please, for the love of god actually listen to these!


	2. Chapter 2

Unnofficial Rules for Mario Kart Online Part 2

AN: I was playing on Mario Kart again today, and I was inspired (And ticked off) enough to write a seconed part. There might be a part three if I experience enough annoying things. Moving on, Here are some more!

Do not under any circumstances give your Mii a Hitler stache and call it Der Fuhrer. No matter whom you are or where you live, I will hunt you down and beat you to death with a paper napkin*

Using a bullet to get in first makes you look pathetic. No questions asked.

If you are a medium and ram a large, you're screwed. If you're a small and you ram a large, you're an idiot.

A blue shell will hit whoever is in the lead that hasn't finished the race. If you are in third and first just finished, put some distance between second before shooting.

Explosions hit anyone who touches them. I don't care if you set it off, waltzing in to a fireball will get you killed.

Do not make your name a swear with a space added in. You look really, really stupid. Also you become by default a Troll.**

If you are losing badly, do not turn the Wii off. You lose even more rating, and look like a whiner. Just finish the damn race!***

*I don't know if it's possible, but I'll try.

**Thanks for that Alayakit! It seemed legit, so I used it.

*** Thanks Nintendofangirl! I completely forgot about it last chapter.


	3. Chapter 3

Unofficial Rules For Mario Kart Online 3

AN: God I hate the people online...

No matter who you are, or how badass you think you are, you do not call your Mii Chuck Norris. Nobody's buying it, and he's gonna come after you.

If your Mii is called Tommy and is racing with a guest called Mommy, or vice versa, then yes, we are going to be laughing at you.

Don't put three stars at the end of your name, or two, or one. It's lame, and we aren't fooled.*

Don't just jump ship in the middle of the race in favour of shoving everyone off a cliff. This is RACING, not wrestling.*

If you get in first, and have a badass item like a star or a bullet, don't use it! It won't help!**

If you follow directly behind someone, you're gonna get hit by a banana or a fake item box, or a shell or something.

If you haven't finished all of the Grand Prix's, then you're gonna get owned. Just saying.

Do note, if your name includes an ungodly amount of pictures, or is completely illegible, everyone mentally calls you Noobcakes. Just saying.

We get it. You like Rainbow Raod, and you want a challenge. That does not mean you have to vote for it every. Damn. Time.

If you get a golden mushroom, then hit the throw button until it dies. You wont regret it.

If you get a thundercloud while nowhere near anyone else, you're royally screwed.

Yes, girls do exist on the internet.

AN: *Thanks again to AaylaKit!

**And thank you OldRivalShipper.

And sorry about the long time no update, my Wii broke, and so this is half memory, a quarter of the people mentioned above, and the last quarter have probably happened to someone, somewhere. When I get a new Wii, probably around Christmas, I'll most likely have a new update. Seriously, the internet will never run out of idiots for me to write about.


End file.
